Hey there everyone. Welcome to Alex’s Depression Space. This is an anonymous, judgment-free zone for people living with/managing depression. Or at least that’s what I hope this will be.

A little about myself. I’ve been battling depression for probably my entire life but it didn’t have a name/wasn’t diagnosed until 10 years ago. And I’ve found that the pills and the therapy only do so much. Depression stalks me like an ever-present monster, made worse by the fact that the monster is in my mind. As we depressives know only too well, our brains can be tricksters that lie to us, and when things get really bad we believe the lies and end up in a depressive episode.

This battle is all-consuming and exhausting. I’ve recently come to know that, at least for myself, this is about as good as it’s going to get for me. I can’t medicate it away, talk-therapy it away, or self-talk it away. I’m done with believing that if I can only keep enough gratitude journals, find the right cocktail of pills, or have some major therapy breakthrough or other, then I’ll be “fixed” and rid of this demon. All bullshit. Depression doesn’t “go away”. It can be managed (some days better, some days not so well), but it doesn’t go away.

So that’s why I started this. I just at this point want to record what has been my experience, and what I believe has caused me to be as I am.

I don’t know yet if doing this will help me. But if someone reading any of this benefits at all, then it won’t be for nothing.

#depression #sadness #loneliness #clinicaldepression #majordepressivedisorder #MDD #depressionhurts #depressionsucks